The Wednesday meetings are good. I didnt regret a moment spent listening to Dave tell us of his life, the small things and the big things that have shaped who he is and how he came to now reside amongst us. Yet, somehow things have changed from when we first began meeting in the evening last spring. Perhaps it is the desperation that has dissipated as we feel more confident of our success or maybe the increase in attendees that makes each of us feel less alone in this massive undertaking or it is just the comfort of routine and familiarity of friends. Whatever the cause, the change has been almost entirely positive except for one thing; we had reached a plateau of vision.
So much of the past year was spent envisioning how to implement this plan of renovation. The paperwork, the endless meetings and the need to have our ideas accepted by so many different interests took its proper toll and some felt overwhelmed by responsibility while others felt unprepared or helpless as to how their contribution could be of any use. Many hands make light work, but too many cooks in the kitchen can spoil the broth. So we needed to find the balance of responsibility and a renewal of the vision, which is why a Thursday night meeting was called. A different night in a different location with a focus of vision might be just what we needed to move beyond the plateau.
Below I quote the ideas/thoughts/feelings/visions of those that spoke at the meeting as well as some replies to the things that they said. Some are exactly the words that poured past their lips, while others are more succinct interpretations of the paragraphs or concepts that were spoken. No conclusions were achieved at this meeting; neither was it the beginning of new ideals; rather it was the voicing of those aspirations we have always had and the concerns over how best to achieve them.
This [meeting] is neither the beginning nor the climax of all our planning, only a point on the path toward a goal - Heidi
We want to support people in the community enabling them to achieve their goals, dreams and aspirations. - Sophie
We are powerless... What does a spirit of boldness look like in a life dedicated to non-violence and humility? - Dave V
In a community our mistakes destroy more... but less completely, while our individual innovations can be lifted beyond what could ever be achieved alone. - Tessa
Need to talk about our goals that arrived at dead-ends because that is where we have learned the most. - Dan
We must take care of those with vision. - Dave V
This [community] can not be "maybe your passion", it must necessarily be your passions shared. - Tiff
Leaders must give up control and followers must take up responsibility.... that is the definition of community. - Dan
Mark your skills and serve in them, but understand your weaknesses and let God work through you in them. - Dan
Poverty does not necessarily mean humility; pride can still hide in dirty rags, but it is much harder to reach out to someone from a place of privilege. - Jim
We need a group of us to commit to daily pray together. - Heidi
We dont want to make people more like us, we want to make us like more people. - Beth M
There is a difference between living vicariously through others versus enabling other to do the things that you can not. - Dan
The community needs the support of people on the outside because they bring enriching nourishment to an ecosystem that would otherwise be self contained. - Jordan
Leaders need support as much as they need followers. - Carmen
We must understand that once we open the ecosystem, we could potentially lose the very things that gave it life. - Mark
People must be allowed to be committed to things that are not directly part of the community. - Jordan
Are we willing to commit to something beyond ourselves.... a commitment that has no time limit? - Dan
There is a specialness in being together, but even more in loving someone who is away, whose return is anticipated. - Dave S
There are different levels of investment. - Jim
Not everyone will or must feel that change is necessary. - Mark
Stop focusing on what we need and instead work toward giving away what we want. - Alie
Focus on serving God instead of on ways to serve God. - Beth A
Our dreams limit what God has in store for us. - Dan
As a conclusion I have tried to write a statement of vision that perhaps encapsulates that which is of central importance to the community. It excludes many aspects but I believe that it captures much of the vision of the Atangard Society; Hospitality and Community.
The Atangard Society is an organization that pursues building an infrastructure of hospitality, creating a physical space and an organizational framework to allow us to direct people to the help that they need.
- dan
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
November 12 - Field Trip to St. Chiara
Over the past week a lot has happened with Atangard. First off, the proposal we put forth to the city was voted upon and it passed! And without any opposition. This is huge. It is another big hurdle that is now behind us. It's so good have tangible progress. There are still other clerical issues that need to be dealt with such as insurance, but getting approval of the proposal is a big step in the right direction.
On Monday, November 10, several people from the project headed out to Vancouver to meet with the people of St. Chiara's who live in community in the downtown Eastside. There are four main houses that are part of this community housing where they have an open door policy for meals and have several people who live there part time. In total there are about 40 people in residence there with a core group of original members. Kathy and Lane spoke with the people who were out there (Sophie, Carissa, Jim, Beth, Mark, Dave V, Dan, Debby, Dave S) about what they were doing and why it was they have made the choice to pursue living in a tight knit community and serving those around them. They posed some difficult questions trying to see why it is that we are seeking to do something similar to what it is they have. The group was challenged to find a concrete reason, or goal that they can unite within so that they can succeed in their efforts to make positive changes in Downtown Abbotsford. Specifically each person was asked why they wanted to live at Atangard. This got me thinking a bit, and as I don't intend on living at Atangard. My current goal is to finish my schooling and to do this I need to move to the States for a few years, if all goes as I am planning that would mean that I'll be moving next fall. So, why is it then that I'm involved in this at all? I came up with two things: first I plan on helping with the renovations. I have skills in that area as it's my current job and want to contribute in any was I can. And secondly, and I think this reason is more important to me. Even though living in Atangard isn't a goal of mine right now, many of the people who do want to live there are close friends of mine, and it's their goal to live there. So for me, the main reason I'm involved is to help and support my friends in any way I can to help them achieve their goals. It's the only thing that makes sense for me to do, so I do it as best I can.
What stuck out most to me as a theme of the conversation around St. Chiara was the challenge from Kathy and Lane to commit, and not just unofficially, but to really commit to a time period for how long you intend on living in Atangard. They stressed that this was a very important issue. The general sense of the discussion was that long term commitment is scary. We don't like being "held down" for an extended period of time. We like our ability to get up and go whenever we like if circumstances change, or if we just don't feel like doing whatever it is we're doing anymore. Often it's easier to abandon a situation rather than stick around and work it out. It's very evident in our culture by the number of failed marriages we see or hear about. Commitment has become a word of convenience; if it's convenient for me, I'll be committed. If we don't stand by our commitments we're just flakes.
To close out the night, Jamie spoke. He shared the experience he had while at Interns at ACA. He talked about the struggles he had with what he thought to be how a Christian should act, and the holding back of emotions that he thought a "good" Christian shouldn't have. When he started to put aside these notions of how he thought he should act emotions he had suppressed started to come out and although is was a hard process and still is, it has been a healthy one.
That about sums up the meeting that was, so I'm going to sign off at that,
Steve
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Before Pictures
The above the pictures are from the inside of the FVI (the hotel that we will be renovating/where we will live). Don't worry, reno's haven't started yet.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Cultural Baggage
Something that was discussed this week was the idea of cultural baggage. Carman posed a theory that maybe God didn't mean for the Isrealites to kill all those people in the old testament; maybe he just wanted them displaced. And she couldn't understand why God would want to instigate a genicide on any scale. Doug Bryce brought up the idea of cultural baggage and how maybe it was God's intention to only displace them but maybe because of the times the Isrealites were in, with all the violence of other gods and peoples, they interpreted his commands a little differently than we would today.
I was talking with Sophie today about how, even if we use the same words, comunnication can be such a tricky thing. I was telling her about my good friend Suzanne and how different we are but we've been friends for a long time. We make sure we are aware of how different we are and try to communicate accordingly. There have been countless times that I have been offended at something she's said because of how I interpreted it. And then she'll ask me what I THOUGHT she said and, more often than not, be like, 'Oh no! THIS is what I said."
It's a dangerous thing to assume we know people completely. Especially the ones who are most like us. We are constantly changing our perspectives, our tolerances, our minds.
If there is one thing I appreiciate most about this friend's group, it is their hunger to understand. Each other and everyone they come into contact with. The more I get to know them the more I am overwhelmed by the beauty that radiates from them. Maybe this happens whenever you form strong connections with people.
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not yet born till they arrive." -Anais Nin
There is a theme of people realizing how they are different and how they are not like others in the group and faulting themselves for it. Like Dan talking about how he never cries. Or me talking about how I always cry! The things we cannot help about ourselves, even in their purest form, leave us with a sense of not being in control. I think that is the main issue here.
When we see someone who is not like us in the very way we can be our best we envy the thing about them that would make us unlike who we are. Something that I try to do, though it doesn't work half the time, is, when i actually catch myself thinking negatively about myself, in a way that isn't productive, I try to think about things that are good inside of me. Ways I know I affect other people in a good way. Even different measures of success. Sometimes I can't even think of one way I've been successful in my life, but I think it's only because I discredit the things that I've put more work into because of my priorities and I believe people when they tell me in order to be considered successful I should own a car, a house, a husband, some kids, a career. And, I won't say I don't want those things, even if just to avoid semi-awkward conversations comparing things I don't even have in commen with other people, but I do want those things, on some scale, because they represent structure and stability and respect and success in our culture. But not only for that reason, but some days that is my only reason.
There are so many pre-suppositions and unwritten rules just in living every day within a society. What we need to do, instead of assuming other people have the same cultural baggage as us, is seek to understand them instead of seeking understanding from them.
--Carissa
I was talking with Sophie today about how, even if we use the same words, comunnication can be such a tricky thing. I was telling her about my good friend Suzanne and how different we are but we've been friends for a long time. We make sure we are aware of how different we are and try to communicate accordingly. There have been countless times that I have been offended at something she's said because of how I interpreted it. And then she'll ask me what I THOUGHT she said and, more often than not, be like, 'Oh no! THIS is what I said."
It's a dangerous thing to assume we know people completely. Especially the ones who are most like us. We are constantly changing our perspectives, our tolerances, our minds.
If there is one thing I appreiciate most about this friend's group, it is their hunger to understand. Each other and everyone they come into contact with. The more I get to know them the more I am overwhelmed by the beauty that radiates from them. Maybe this happens whenever you form strong connections with people.
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not yet born till they arrive." -Anais Nin
There is a theme of people realizing how they are different and how they are not like others in the group and faulting themselves for it. Like Dan talking about how he never cries. Or me talking about how I always cry! The things we cannot help about ourselves, even in their purest form, leave us with a sense of not being in control. I think that is the main issue here.
When we see someone who is not like us in the very way we can be our best we envy the thing about them that would make us unlike who we are. Something that I try to do, though it doesn't work half the time, is, when i actually catch myself thinking negatively about myself, in a way that isn't productive, I try to think about things that are good inside of me. Ways I know I affect other people in a good way. Even different measures of success. Sometimes I can't even think of one way I've been successful in my life, but I think it's only because I discredit the things that I've put more work into because of my priorities and I believe people when they tell me in order to be considered successful I should own a car, a house, a husband, some kids, a career. And, I won't say I don't want those things, even if just to avoid semi-awkward conversations comparing things I don't even have in commen with other people, but I do want those things, on some scale, because they represent structure and stability and respect and success in our culture. But not only for that reason, but some days that is my only reason.
There are so many pre-suppositions and unwritten rules just in living every day within a society. What we need to do, instead of assuming other people have the same cultural baggage as us, is seek to understand them instead of seeking understanding from them.
--Carissa
Monday, November 3, 2008
Pacifism And The Escalation Of Violence
One night there was a discussion amongst my friends about pacifism; it revolved around the passage in the Bible that says to turn the other cheek when struck. The common interpretation is that one should "humble they self" even further, however that is not necessarily historically accurate. The type of strike is that of a master to a slave; a right arm backhand against the right side of the victims face. By turning the other cheek it is not a sign of submission but rather one of defiance against one who presumes to be your master. By the simple act of turning and revealing the left side, one has overturned the master-slave hierarchy without resorting to violence. The attacker must now either strike you as he would an equal and thus legitimate claims of equality or back down from further acts of violence.
The verses continue with other examples of revolt that are commonly mistaken by modern readers as showing weakness or submission. Such as that about carrying a pack two miles if asked/forced to carry it. According to Roman law it was illegal for a Roman soldier to make someone carry his pack more than one mile. Thus if the individual that is forced to carry the pack takes it further he is causing the soldier to break the law and creating the threat of ejection from the military and thus his source of power.
The third is about if one is sued for their shirt they should give their coat also. In a society where nudity was highly offensive the act of going topless would be an insult to the person who took the clothing as much as it would be for the one who lost them.
This discussion inevitably led to modern day applications of such defiance pacifism on the macro political scale. An example of the opposite was put forth that (despite any distaste we may have for it) the preemptive violent actions of nation states against those they perceived as potential threats often succeeded in preventing escalated violence. However, I can not agree with this conclusion because I DO NOT BELIEVE VIOLENCE CAN STOP VIOLENCE. A POTENTIAL ENEMY IS NOT ACTUALLY AN ENEMY AT ALL UNTIL ONE SIDE COMMITS AN ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST THE OTHER JUST AS A WAR WILL NEVER END UNTIL VIOLENCE CEASES. [oops... unintended caps but I like the effect]
"But how", it was posited, "can pacifism stop violence?" and I must admit it cant. So what is the point? Well, actually there are two points.
Point one is that if you adhere to pacifism there is a good chance that no violence will occur. However, if you act on preemption , violence is guaranteed and your chance of avoiding violence directed toward you is not actually eradicated only potentially decreased.
Point two is that violence begets violence, if one nation state attacks another because they see them as a potential threat then all potential threats must be dealt with in the same manner. Any sign of weakness and that country will become a target for retaliatory violence. The same is true on an individual level.
Though pacifism may not be able to prevent all violence from occurring it can stop the escalation of violence.
The person who had pointed out these concepts was Jim, thus it was no surprise that when he spoke on Wednesday night his discourse on life was tightly intertwined with the concepts of social justice and non-violence. These are things that are very important to me personally and I believe (whether you realize it or not) that they are central to the philosophy that we are creating for the Atangard Community Project.
- dan
Monday, October 27, 2008
To Dream Is Innocence
Its been well over a year of ups and down and countless hours of meetings and work in order to get the Atangard Community Project up and running, but one of the most rewarding things throughout this process, was reading through some of the letters of support we recieved from various people and organizations in the community last week. To hear from successful, legitimate people saying 'We support this project, and think its a good idea', was the extra encouragment we needed to boost our hopes and expectations for Mondays Abbotsford council meetings. (This meeting will be determining the fate of the Atangard Community Project, whether the city will approve the proposal or deny it)
This past year I've had to learn that through the highs and lows of this project, I can find peace in the consistent cycle of inconsistencies. We've talked about the ebb and flow at a lot in our meetings. Feeling like were making progress (a positive meeting or a word of encouragment) and then the low times of wondering if this was it, if all our hopes and hard work have been for nothing. I've been learning not to depend on the moments of euphoria, and rather see them as a gift and learning to embrace the raw times. And then to persevering through the challenges and oppositions we faced.
Sometimes I forget what life was like before the project. As I listen to our conversations and watch as all my friends debate world issues and help each other out with development proposals and marketing plans; it strikes me that we've experienced a lot of these "highs" together, as well as the "lows". Its been incredible to watch all my friends work together and in a way, grow up. Especially observing Sophe, who has completely invested her whole self into this project and buryed herself under mountains of paperwork, endless research and hours of meetings. With all the work she has done, it hasn't been easy watching her disappointments and heart breaks after some of the meetings. While I feel as though we have lost some of our innocence during this process, we have done so with integrity. Tragedy shapes us. It builds our character and our ability to empathize. It can also do the opposite, as Dan shared, it can sometimes cause a state of apathy or a hardened heart towards other people experiences, "I don't care what you've been through, Ive probably been through it to." Something that excites me about this project is the exposure to other peoples convictions and the potential to partner with them in a shared goal. My hope is that in surrounding ourselves with people who share a common pursuit of community life, we will learn to value each others tragedies and grow together in intimacy as individuals.
What ever the outcome of the meeting tommorrow, I feel that this project has already been a success. Because in and through the evolution of making this dream (ACP) become a reality, using the example Dan gave; from point A. (person holding a rock), to point B. (rock breaking window), we have started to unwrap some of the realities of living this life together. The very thing that can be so easily avoided in this day and age, is relationship. As Dave pointed out, "we can get to the moon but we suck at conflict." I thought he put it well. And not only relationships in general, but healthy relationships, where people love each other enough to confront and forgive, and adapt and sacrfice for the sake of community.
-Tess
This past year I've had to learn that through the highs and lows of this project, I can find peace in the consistent cycle of inconsistencies. We've talked about the ebb and flow at a lot in our meetings. Feeling like were making progress (a positive meeting or a word of encouragment) and then the low times of wondering if this was it, if all our hopes and hard work have been for nothing. I've been learning not to depend on the moments of euphoria, and rather see them as a gift and learning to embrace the raw times. And then to persevering through the challenges and oppositions we faced.
Sometimes I forget what life was like before the project. As I listen to our conversations and watch as all my friends debate world issues and help each other out with development proposals and marketing plans; it strikes me that we've experienced a lot of these "highs" together, as well as the "lows". Its been incredible to watch all my friends work together and in a way, grow up. Especially observing Sophe, who has completely invested her whole self into this project and buryed herself under mountains of paperwork, endless research and hours of meetings. With all the work she has done, it hasn't been easy watching her disappointments and heart breaks after some of the meetings. While I feel as though we have lost some of our innocence during this process, we have done so with integrity. Tragedy shapes us. It builds our character and our ability to empathize. It can also do the opposite, as Dan shared, it can sometimes cause a state of apathy or a hardened heart towards other people experiences, "I don't care what you've been through, Ive probably been through it to." Something that excites me about this project is the exposure to other peoples convictions and the potential to partner with them in a shared goal. My hope is that in surrounding ourselves with people who share a common pursuit of community life, we will learn to value each others tragedies and grow together in intimacy as individuals.
What ever the outcome of the meeting tommorrow, I feel that this project has already been a success. Because in and through the evolution of making this dream (ACP) become a reality, using the example Dan gave; from point A. (person holding a rock), to point B. (rock breaking window), we have started to unwrap some of the realities of living this life together. The very thing that can be so easily avoided in this day and age, is relationship. As Dave pointed out, "we can get to the moon but we suck at conflict." I thought he put it well. And not only relationships in general, but healthy relationships, where people love each other enough to confront and forgive, and adapt and sacrfice for the sake of community.
-Tess
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tears
Two weeks ago we listened to Carissa tell her story which resonated with many of us on different levels. The increadible thing about sharing our stories as we have been the last couple of weeks is that we get to see people; their personalities, their quirks, their certain jadedness, as a result of distinct shaping experiences that they have had throughout their life.
The thing about Carissa's story was that she told it with such a vulnerability that I felt as though we had been let in on a secret event, or an independant film depicting her life. I noticed that the thing that connected us so deeply with her story was the parts of it that reminded us of our own experiences. For example, any of us who have struggled with understanding equality in gender roles, judgment in the church, or a painful disconnection with loved ones in the past, could taste the kind of experiences that Carissa related.
Her awareness that she's always been one "prone to tears" didn't prevent her from delving into the most difficult valleys in her life explaining what is was like when she felt the shame of being left out from her siblings becuase she was a girl, the pain of her parent's divorce, and struggling with the fact that the church was sending messages that alienated her brother and told her that as a female, she was best suited as a house wife. She explained her frustration through these times as well as sources of relief and understanding.
Personally, I have always been joyous to be female, although thoroughly defensive to anyone who attacks my ability to do anything for gender reasons. Carissa's explanations of her discoveries echoed my feelings on these matters as far as her realization that her femininity could be celebrated and non restrictive!
There is much more depth to her story than I have explained here and I would encourage you to listen the audio post on this page. Another thing we discussed at the meeting was how we would deal with worst-case scenarios in our new home. It's something we wouldn't like to imagine ever happening but procedures need to be in place to show our professionalism as and ablilty to handle various situations. We spoke about making detailed budgets and lists, taking security training courses and getting sample forms for accounting and office finances.
Another topic brought up was fundraising. Perhaps putting on a show with our wealth of artists and musicians in our community?
-c
The thing about Carissa's story was that she told it with such a vulnerability that I felt as though we had been let in on a secret event, or an independant film depicting her life. I noticed that the thing that connected us so deeply with her story was the parts of it that reminded us of our own experiences. For example, any of us who have struggled with understanding equality in gender roles, judgment in the church, or a painful disconnection with loved ones in the past, could taste the kind of experiences that Carissa related.
Her awareness that she's always been one "prone to tears" didn't prevent her from delving into the most difficult valleys in her life explaining what is was like when she felt the shame of being left out from her siblings becuase she was a girl, the pain of her parent's divorce, and struggling with the fact that the church was sending messages that alienated her brother and told her that as a female, she was best suited as a house wife. She explained her frustration through these times as well as sources of relief and understanding.
Personally, I have always been joyous to be female, although thoroughly defensive to anyone who attacks my ability to do anything for gender reasons. Carissa's explanations of her discoveries echoed my feelings on these matters as far as her realization that her femininity could be celebrated and non restrictive!
There is much more depth to her story than I have explained here and I would encourage you to listen the audio post on this page. Another thing we discussed at the meeting was how we would deal with worst-case scenarios in our new home. It's something we wouldn't like to imagine ever happening but procedures need to be in place to show our professionalism as and ablilty to handle various situations. We spoke about making detailed budgets and lists, taking security training courses and getting sample forms for accounting and office finances.
Another topic brought up was fundraising. Perhaps putting on a show with our wealth of artists and musicians in our community?
-c
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Scars.
There is something powerful about scars, these indications of events that have damaged, or at the very least, deeply affected us.
When we share the stories behind the marks on us, it forges an unmistakable connection between the storyteller and listener. In listening, we begin to see that their actions, once misunderstood, come from somewhere. A reaction, before misconstrued is now part of a revealed legacy that lives in their very skin - affecting each movement and word.
When these stories are related, the opportunity is given for intimacy to replace misunderstanding. And it is out of that intimacy that empathy is borne. (Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.) It is hard to have any sort of empathy toward someone without connection, and for some that connection can come from a look or an moment observed where something deep and true is revealed about another person, but within the bustle of life, those moments usually pass by unnoticed.
In the last two weeks I have been provided this opportunity, this honor of shared scars, by both Mark and Jordon. I am no stranger to blogging, but in trying to write this entry I find myself incessantly backspacing and rewriting -struggling to find words that communicate how thankful I am for their honesty. I fear that my lack of eloquence will somehow diminish the significance and value of their acts of vulnerability. So perhaps, I should put aside my desire for literary excellence and share a small piece of myself.
Lately I have been confronted with my own weakness in this area, guilty many times over of willing self-involvement. I have missed the shadows that pass over friend's faces at the mention of something that hits a tender spot. My decision to dwell in judgement, hurt, and insecurity leading to animosity have clouded my vision and I have been unable to see past actions to the people behind them.
This idea is one close to my heart and one Jordon spoke at length about. Actions (and lifestyle) do not define people. Jose Saramago wrote, "There is something inside all of us that has no name, and that something is who we are." Yet, we do want to name things, and though I will not venture to give any names to that mysterious something, I will say what they are not.
It is not prostitute. It is not are not homeless, addict, homosexual or cheater. The names that we give to people - that we arrogantly use to define who they are have no place in love. As we, I say we as someone who has been given to beyond measure, do not deserve all that we have received, those who do not have do not deserve what they have been given either. No one deserves to be alone. No one deserves to be hungry, abused or rejected.
So, with or without the stories behind their scars, I join with Jord and Mark, in hope that with acknowledgment we can begin to move beyond all that inhibits us from empathy towards those around us. To step out in honesty and love with names left behind, to see those around us with some semblance of truth.
- Beth
(Image by Sam Weber)
When we share the stories behind the marks on us, it forges an unmistakable connection between the storyteller and listener. In listening, we begin to see that their actions, once misunderstood, come from somewhere. A reaction, before misconstrued is now part of a revealed legacy that lives in their very skin - affecting each movement and word.
When these stories are related, the opportunity is given for intimacy to replace misunderstanding. And it is out of that intimacy that empathy is borne. (Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.) It is hard to have any sort of empathy toward someone without connection, and for some that connection can come from a look or an moment observed where something deep and true is revealed about another person, but within the bustle of life, those moments usually pass by unnoticed.
In the last two weeks I have been provided this opportunity, this honor of shared scars, by both Mark and Jordon. I am no stranger to blogging, but in trying to write this entry I find myself incessantly backspacing and rewriting -struggling to find words that communicate how thankful I am for their honesty. I fear that my lack of eloquence will somehow diminish the significance and value of their acts of vulnerability. So perhaps, I should put aside my desire for literary excellence and share a small piece of myself.
Lately I have been confronted with my own weakness in this area, guilty many times over of willing self-involvement. I have missed the shadows that pass over friend's faces at the mention of something that hits a tender spot. My decision to dwell in judgement, hurt, and insecurity leading to animosity have clouded my vision and I have been unable to see past actions to the people behind them.
This idea is one close to my heart and one Jordon spoke at length about. Actions (and lifestyle) do not define people. Jose Saramago wrote, "There is something inside all of us that has no name, and that something is who we are." Yet, we do want to name things, and though I will not venture to give any names to that mysterious something, I will say what they are not.
It is not prostitute. It is not are not homeless, addict, homosexual or cheater. The names that we give to people - that we arrogantly use to define who they are have no place in love. As we, I say we as someone who has been given to beyond measure, do not deserve all that we have received, those who do not have do not deserve what they have been given either. No one deserves to be alone. No one deserves to be hungry, abused or rejected.
So, with or without the stories behind their scars, I join with Jord and Mark, in hope that with acknowledgment we can begin to move beyond all that inhibits us from empathy towards those around us. To step out in honesty and love with names left behind, to see those around us with some semblance of truth.
- Beth
(Image by Sam Weber)
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Experiments in Truth
We are so concerned with appearances. But not always without reason. Appearances are inevitably the first point of contact between ourselves and others. They form our initial impressions and help us interpret the world. But each person runs deep, and we sense strongly that appearances are a dim reflection of what lies inside.
Last Wednesday’s meeting began with a discussion of the merits of finding an organization to partner with in our community housing project. Such a partnership would help assuage the city’s concerns about the viability and stability of our project. Some in our group, however, expressed worry that a partnership may forfeit too much of our vision and influence in the development of the project.
I think we fear—perhaps it’s an unfounded fear—that the city is judges us on appearances. We struggle to articulate a vision for this project and to convince those whose approval is needed that we can operate a healthy and sustainable community in the Fraser Valley Inn.
I could not help but note the parallels between our concerns for the community and our later discussion about how we are perceived as individuals. In the second part of our meeting, Mark shared part of his journey and his striving towards accepting himself for who he is. His vulnerability with us was an invitation to a deeper place of knowing ourselves and knowing each other.
Members of the Northumbria Community on the island of Lindisfarne take a two-fold vow as part of their commitment to community. They say yes to the disciplines of availability and vulnerability. This means committing oneself to be present to God and to people, and then to the task of facing the truth about oneself. Most of us will face something else, a shadow of ourselves, something without depth or colour. But to be beholden to one another requires something more. It requires that we see ourselves as we are. We confront what Thomas Merton called the Unspeakable, the void within us that causes us to live in states of denial and illusion. We confront our unspoken assumptions about our identities with the aim of discerning ego from true self and discovering the value in us and in each person we meet.
At last Wednesday’s meeting, I sensed that our collective desire was to live in a deeper place of knowing ourselves and one another in the hope that we will come to accept ourselves and one another. Here, I find the convergence of two beliefs I hold deeply: first, Gandhi’s belief that Truth is God, and second, the biblical notion that God is Love. The more we experiment in Truth, the closer we are drawn to Love, and Love is the most powerful force in the universe.
-Jim
Last Wednesday’s meeting began with a discussion of the merits of finding an organization to partner with in our community housing project. Such a partnership would help assuage the city’s concerns about the viability and stability of our project. Some in our group, however, expressed worry that a partnership may forfeit too much of our vision and influence in the development of the project.
I think we fear—perhaps it’s an unfounded fear—that the city is judges us on appearances. We struggle to articulate a vision for this project and to convince those whose approval is needed that we can operate a healthy and sustainable community in the Fraser Valley Inn.
I could not help but note the parallels between our concerns for the community and our later discussion about how we are perceived as individuals. In the second part of our meeting, Mark shared part of his journey and his striving towards accepting himself for who he is. His vulnerability with us was an invitation to a deeper place of knowing ourselves and knowing each other.
Members of the Northumbria Community on the island of Lindisfarne take a two-fold vow as part of their commitment to community. They say yes to the disciplines of availability and vulnerability. This means committing oneself to be present to God and to people, and then to the task of facing the truth about oneself. Most of us will face something else, a shadow of ourselves, something without depth or colour. But to be beholden to one another requires something more. It requires that we see ourselves as we are. We confront what Thomas Merton called the Unspeakable, the void within us that causes us to live in states of denial and illusion. We confront our unspoken assumptions about our identities with the aim of discerning ego from true self and discovering the value in us and in each person we meet.
At last Wednesday’s meeting, I sensed that our collective desire was to live in a deeper place of knowing ourselves and one another in the hope that we will come to accept ourselves and one another. Here, I find the convergence of two beliefs I hold deeply: first, Gandhi’s belief that Truth is God, and second, the biblical notion that God is Love. The more we experiment in Truth, the closer we are drawn to Love, and Love is the most powerful force in the universe.
-Jim
Saturday, September 13, 2008
City Meetings
One of the City Planners called me up this week and asked me to come in to go over a few things. No big deal, right? I had little idea that I would be lead into a room of four other city professionals, each of whom hold some kind of power in handing me the key to my future, and the future of this project.
If I had known from conception what this endeavor would entail; the work, the proposals, the meetings, the constant emotional demand, I wonder if I would've still initiated. I think that I may have shied away overwhelmed by all these requirements in which I have no training or experience. But at the same time, I would be wandering right now. I probably wouldn't have stayed in Abbotsford this long, and I would not be experiencing the depth of relationship that I am privileged to right now. I am not afraid of hard work, and it has definitely been worth it.
The meeting was a list of requirements and concerns. Not many of the issues were new things not previously thought of, but our theoretical responses are not strong enough. I understand that when it comes to an undertaking such as this, and especially without any experience in the area, good intentions and hopes are not enough. Something concrete is needed; research, and back-up. Problems should be solved before they can happen. I understand that this is for the well-being of the city as well as ourselves.
I left with an understanding that we are in part battling logistics, but in part battling the prejudices of a well meaning, but completely unfamiliar people group who have no grid for a culture of such values and ambitions. Their perception on this type of living, based solely on past experience would be entirely negative. It is not enough to build only trust, but there must be an understanding and security as well. It is unfair to say that everyone one I have had to work with in the city is like this. But let me say that maybe the ones right now who have spoken the loudest are voices such as this.
At the same time, despite some of their appearant reservations. They have not mearly dismissed this project. They have spent much time and many meetings to work towards solutions that will help bring these plans to reality. I have felt their support and for that I am grateful.
There is much work to be done. Mostly, gathering a network of experience and support and facts that will convince the city that we have what it takes.
I tend to write in a reflective and somewhat abstract manner. You'rr probably wondering what these issues were that were brought up.
-Possible partnering with an association that has experience
-Affordable housing vs. off-campus dorms
-Ratios of students to non-students/the fact that students are not a main priority
-Who is the priority and how do you narrow and ensure your acceptance to that
-Noise buffering
-Security and crime prevention
-Organization and policies
If I had known from conception what this endeavor would entail; the work, the proposals, the meetings, the constant emotional demand, I wonder if I would've still initiated. I think that I may have shied away overwhelmed by all these requirements in which I have no training or experience. But at the same time, I would be wandering right now. I probably wouldn't have stayed in Abbotsford this long, and I would not be experiencing the depth of relationship that I am privileged to right now. I am not afraid of hard work, and it has definitely been worth it.
The meeting was a list of requirements and concerns. Not many of the issues were new things not previously thought of, but our theoretical responses are not strong enough. I understand that when it comes to an undertaking such as this, and especially without any experience in the area, good intentions and hopes are not enough. Something concrete is needed; research, and back-up. Problems should be solved before they can happen. I understand that this is for the well-being of the city as well as ourselves.
I left with an understanding that we are in part battling logistics, but in part battling the prejudices of a well meaning, but completely unfamiliar people group who have no grid for a culture of such values and ambitions. Their perception on this type of living, based solely on past experience would be entirely negative. It is not enough to build only trust, but there must be an understanding and security as well. It is unfair to say that everyone one I have had to work with in the city is like this. But let me say that maybe the ones right now who have spoken the loudest are voices such as this.
At the same time, despite some of their appearant reservations. They have not mearly dismissed this project. They have spent much time and many meetings to work towards solutions that will help bring these plans to reality. I have felt their support and for that I am grateful.
There is much work to be done. Mostly, gathering a network of experience and support and facts that will convince the city that we have what it takes.
I tend to write in a reflective and somewhat abstract manner. You'rr probably wondering what these issues were that were brought up.
-Possible partnering with an association that has experience
-Affordable housing vs. off-campus dorms
-Ratios of students to non-students/the fact that students are not a main priority
-Who is the priority and how do you narrow and ensure your acceptance to that
-Noise buffering
-Security and crime prevention
-Organization and policies
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