The eye of the storm

It seems that conflict and controversy have visited us at long last. It has in my opinion been long overdue. We have had one fairly sleepy, fairly easy year. I have no grid by which to measure our journey, and sometimes I think of more common life's examples, though they are quite different. I have heard the first year of marriage is the hardest. I expected this year to be harder. It is interesting that things arise exactly to date on the one year anniversary of this place. Once again I feel that a point of celebration is being downplayed by the arising of another challenge.

So conflict, though our enemy, and a point of discomfort, is not necessarily a bad thing. It is through these things which we will allow to either destroy us, or make us stronger. I hope that we choose to honor one another over ourselves. That we choose to deal with root issues and not push things below the surface. That we will be honest and vulnerable with one another.

An easy relationship carries no depth or solidarity. It is meaningless. It is only based on convenience.

This is a point where we choose what we want, and what is important to us. My friends, lets think about this.

I hope for myself that I can find the strength, humility, and wisdom to help navigate us through this storm. One year in and I feel my energy fading. I do not know how to make this lifestyle sustainable. I used to consider myself a fairly level-headed even keel person. I never understood how some people could live their lives in a constant state of drama. It seems as of late that I am consistently bouncing between one emotionally induced state to another. I don't know if I have become hyper-sensitive, or if I am placed in an emotional epicenter.

I will leave us with this. It is our action that will change things - not overprocessing. Time will tell the outcome.
Happy One Year.

Sophia

Jimmying.

It has been too much time between the genesis of this thought and my writing it down to trace it to its origin. Whatever it was that spurred it - perhaps my endless perusing of home blogs in search of room inspiration and fascination with space or flipping through a magazine or walking down the street - I was struck.

The thought: here, at Atangard, we have an "ours". The birth of this realization must have begun while looking at someone's else's home, with the beginning of envy or longing for their "ours". Mid step, it was halted by what is in front of me daily. The wooden floors I know so well - these days it always my bare feet which walk down the hallways, bringing a more intimate acquaintance than winter's woolen socked barrier. Fingertips brushing textured walls, doors which need a little jimmying and the tens upon tens of quirks that our top floor roost holds.

When you inhabit a place, it is hard to see clearly how you have marked it and it you. However, when someone unknown enters, the sense of home and comfort dwelling along with all our sweaty bodies is palpable. It is also a place to return to - from Vancouver, Southeast Asia, or a season of treeplanting. It took some time, but after the bustle of coming and going, the quiet summer I anticipated has come to rest on Atangard. I cherish it. Yet, I am nearly ready for the return of so many gone, for the marks they have left here to be accompanied once again by their beating hearts and wild laughter.

This "ours" is a gift. Not one of ownership, but of refuge.

The wiser I become, the more grateful I become. I have been attempting to be diligent in recording on film this time, this place, these people. It is a time to be lived deeply. Presently. Joyfully. Here are some shots of our home.

-Elizabeth Ashton

Atanetizer

It’s been just over a month since I wrote my first cheque for $450 made out to the “Atangard Community Project”. I am now in Prince George planting trees for the next 3 months, with the taste of community still lingering, enticing me to focus on the post-season main course: 9 more months living in downtown Abby.

I felt like my leaving home was a celebration of past reflection and anticipation. Around this time, several of us are going our separate ways - many are leaving to traipse around the world, others are seasonal workers, and those who are staying will have a unique experience of there own – though what we all share is our excitement for the last month of summer, when we all return to share our dog days.

My month long community hors d'oeuvre has been a unique and enlivening experience. It has been warm, loving, and best of all [in my opinion] it has been shared. That being said, it hasn’t all been fairytales and farts. Living with so many people, so many personalities; it has been occasionally quite a balancing act trying to acquaint myself with everyone’s habits, values, and humour. Fortunately, living in community has proven to be rather forgiving, which is great for someone like myself who can be frustratingly stubborn in adapting to others.

Of course, a community in a city the size of Abbotsford doesn’t consist of only 20 or so people. It is worth mentioning how friends and family have been involved and how they have blessed the people who live here. On behalf of my own experience, I appreciate my friends and family who have chosen to spend time with me and my housemates. All of you who invest in our lives here are the icing on the community cake, and are deeply loved. I can’t wait to return home and spend time with all of you!

However, before this happens I have a summer in the bush to get through. Over the past few days I have been reunited with dear friends who I have known every summer for over a half a decade. I am looking forward to my summer friends, my planting camp: my seasonal community mistress. As I fondly think of all of my ‘roommates’ soon to be scattered all over the world, and those who are staying home holding down the fort, I continue to live life in reflection and anticipation of the community I currently find myself in, as well as the one that I will return to.

Love,
~jordan

Bullet Train to Lake Titicaca

Sometimes I worry that our society is heading down a path that seems too fast and smooth. Are we steadily climbing the hill of progress with out really knowing where it goes?
Perhaps its like a train heading up a hill with the tracks ending in a lake on the otherside.... for those of us that know this, there are three options:
Take over the engine room and slow it down/send it on a different path
(the reason why I am involved in Green Party politics)
Take over the brake room and bring the train to a halt
(the reason I study and believe in anarchism)
Build flotation devices for our train car so that we can unhitch from those that didnt when we hit the lake and turn our train into a boat.
(the reason why I am involved in Atangard)

The middle one is the most violent and socially jarring, the first one is the most difficult and the last... well we still end up in the lake.

Can we act within our social circles and within the limitations of our selfishness to look beyond our community and grades, families and careers to things that are lasting?

You could say this is a spiritual ideology but it is also a earthy earthly one.

Lets build some floats, support those who want to take over the Engine room and pay attention when a few "fringe" activists want to break into the the brake room.


yes it is dan....
of course who else

It was the best of times and the worst of times

It's one year today since we acquired the keys and started renovations. Six months that we've been living here. Dad and I were recounting it the other day. He said that it was up there with some of the most challenging things he'd ever done in his life. Actually, it was second on the list only to overcoming his period of illness. This challenge was definitely the most trying that I have ever faced, mind you I am a lot younger than he. Often in the midst of the overwhelming chaos I could only see what was right in front of me, the next thing to be done. There was never a moment to celebrate because each small victory lead to another obligatory duty. All this to say, I had only a very vague hope of what the future, what living together would look like. Actually, I did not really plan what I thought it would look like, I only had a hope that it would work out. That there would be interest enough to fill our rooms, and that it would be an enriching experience for its duration.

And now we find ourselves here.

Sometimes I find myself still amazed that it actually came to be. That we are actually living in the Fraser Valley Inn. How strange it is. And sometimes I find myself absolutely overwhelmed by the goodness of things that I had never dared to imagine in my hopeful anticipation. Some dinners when our dining room is full of housemates and friends and good food and conversation, my heart is full. Sometimes after a directors meeting I feel blessed to have a depth of relationship to know these good people so fully, to have them work with and if need be, to fight with as well.

And then there are other times that seem somewhat surreal. I think that those are the events when you are truly caught off-guard. The impromptu peter pan dance party, Annie's dinners, having The Geese come and play for us, and last night with Karen playing her harp and Ron speaking - these are times I will cherish.

In tension to this. I will say that it was one endeavor that pushed me beyond my capacity and at times still does. There are times when I am socially overwhelmed. There are times when I am so frustrated by messes and dirty dishes. And times when I just need to retreat to my room and try and find my peace. But I think that the hardest things in life are the most rewarding, and so I am content and grateful to be here to learn and live.

Sophie

A Little Clarity Perhaps

This blog was originally meant as a sounding board for a group of people who were trying to discover how they could bring about positive change in their community. If this is your first introduction to the Atangard Community Project Society you should be made aware that this blog does not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of the Society itself but rather the individual opinions of our members. Though there is significant spiritual/religious content from the various contributors the ACP Society is a completely secular organization.

That said, most cultures around the world have some spiritual component that acts as a motivating factor and Abbotsford has a prolific and deep connection with the Christian tradition. With that in mind it is not a surprise that many of the people involved in this project were and are Christians.

If some of the content in here offends you we are sorry, it was not the intent, they are merely personal opinions and reflections. The community of Atangard is full of different world-views and backgrounds and we hope to increase that diversity overtime. We do not want to push people away from the important concept of community because it is associated with an ideology that they disagree with; conversely we do not wish to censor individual opinions.

When you read the entries in this blog treat them as you would a conversation you over-hear in a coffee-shop, one you might contribute to, one you may not agree with everything that is said, but one that has a central theme you can also be passionate about.

Welcome to our community!